Deodorant, catalyst to enlightenment?

A seven minute shower uses the same amount of water required to quench the thirsts of a classroom full of sweaty pre-schoolers after an intense match of handball.  This election season, as a seasoned infrequent showerer, I feel it is my duty as a politically active American to educate my fellow Americans about the inherent and detrimental moral, physical, environmental, emotional, mechanical, intellectual, and libidinal implications incurred from the practice of habitual showering.  In a society that is obviously suffering from the excessive indulgence the time has come to return to simplicity and clarity through the alleviation of all unnecessary practices associated with the evils of the developing modern world.  Showers are an invention, convention, and circumvention of the "united" front and the state of our nation ultimately relies on abandoning these practices.  Showering after strenuous and sweaty physical activity, when you're only going to get wet later, is not only an environmental concern, but more importantly a moral issue that can no longer be overlooked. Only in America do individuals lazily resort to warm showers and neglect to exercise alternatives that better serve humanity for those of convenience.  The Fellowship fully advocates the re-evolution of the American Moral Compass and maintains the conviction that the path to emancipation lies in the mounting of alternative bathing.