Commentary: The Marines in Berkeley

A great hubabaloo has been made recently about the presence of the Marine Recruiting Center in the city of Berkeley. Berkeley, long a bastion of free-speech and liberal tendencies, seems to be against letting the Marines recruit there.

This is a very troubling issue for the Fellowship. On the one hand, we are for free and restricted speech. On the other hand, we feel the Marine lobby has gained too much influence recently.

Prominent members of the Marine community, including the Humpback Whale, Sea Lion, and notably, the Dugong, have been making quite a splash in this debate. True, several of these Marine representatives are going out of style (read: existence), but does that give them a right to recruit on dry land?

Nay. It is our position that the Marine lobby is a menace to our dry society. They will only infect our way of life with their fishy philosophies and disreputable mating habits. We must build a wall at every beach and prevent these blubbery, slimy and adorable creatures from contaminating the minds of our children.