Time: An Exposé

In light of this evening’s lack thereof, the Fellowship would like to take a moment to illuminate one of the most pressing and vexing issues of our day: time. Armed with little more than transparency, fellowship and sugar-free caramel coffee Werthers, my implormentation began with a dissent into the depths of a hellish abyss. There, in that tunnel of timelessness, awaiting my fate and the blue line in a urine potpourri, I was struck by a moment of unparalleled clarity cleverly disguised as an allusion to an illusion to the Einstein’s ethereal remains. A glimpse into the fourth dimension. Despite vehement disbelief, ridicule, and persecution (by a non-believer who shall not be named but whose name rhymes with Schlomas) I stand by my revelation – some minutes are way longer than others. Archives recently released to the public confirm my inkling. Not only is time relative, and subjective, but Einstein even said so - a lot (relatively). Stumbling upon the very theory that reveals the potentials for time travel, while time seems to have stopped, waiting for the metro to transport me faster than time permits, beneath the city that really loves timeliness – Coincidence? I think not.